I find it quite difficult to keep myself motivated as a designer when I am stuck and lose inspiration very often I get lost and don’t know what to do. It gets so bad that I actually can find myself getting depressed. I don't know if I am depressed or if I have anxiety, or if I'm bipolar. Because when I watch videos about all of these mental problems I just find myself in every single one. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, in one minute everything is okay but in other I just can put a smile on my face, I feel so sad and confused. I usually spend my nights and days in my room, because I'm feeling like it's the only place where I can be myself. There are days when I cry a lot, but then days where I just feel completely empty, with no feelings, I just don't feel happy but also don't feel sad. I'm shaming my body, I just don't feel confident in my skin. Friends ask me to go out, but then all i think is how they are calling me because they don't have anyone else, like I'm just there when they are alone. And I think about all the people who are going out, looking at me, talking about me and I just can't do it. And when I'm talking to someone who I don't know I don't talk that much, because I don't know what do I need to say. And because I'm afraid that I'm going to be judged over something. In some situation when I get mad over something even small my heart starts to beat so fast like it's about to burst and I start breathing so deep, like I'm trying hard but there's no air. And when I get nervous over something, my teeth and lips starts shaking and I can't control it. Like I'm freezing but it's not cold. I'm very confused. If anyone knows what's wrong with me please reply. I try reading articles from different
websites about motivation but nothing seems to work. I would love any suggestions.